Friday, March 24, 2023

Walls

 There are times when I feel the walls closing in on me. Suffocating my ability to garner rational thought. Rendering my soul into a compressed, fractional portion of what it should be. 

Today is one of those days.  A day when two decade's worth of retrospection yields few positive outcomes in learning from my own mistakes.  When the feedback of a dozen past leaders falls upon my back as the screeching of a legion of malcontents, hell-bent on seeking my endless misery.

My drive into work felt light as a feather; in fact, I remember thinking that exact fact.  How crazy it felt to have all the past weeks' stressors melt away.  They had all felt so intensely heavy not 24 hours previous.  

I was literally lost in the music I was listening to...Depeche Mode's "Memento Mori" album, fresh off the proverbial presses this very morning.  I felt hopeful, jaunty, energetic and full of a desire to replicate this sunny fervor that had captured my vision.  

Several hours later and I am defeated and flaccid.  Like I've spent the last week at the back of the refrigerator, forgotten by my benefactors and waiting for my expiration date. 

Somehow, this silly web site is still around after 23 years.  It's still here to capture and process my thoughts and moods and whatever analog photographs I choose to upload.  Simply having it around is like a warm blanket that softens the daily blows...a balm of healing to ease the friction of an endlessly anxious mind.

Thanks for visiting.